Gilded, alternately titled – but you is a piece I did last year, though embodies the same feelings I find myself with in the current predicament. My fiancé and I are long distance, and through the current pandemic its one of the things I find myself struggling with most – the fear that something may happen and I won’t be able to be with them. I find myself full of love and fear for so many reasons. The virus itself, how they and their family will be affected, and fear for the future – our plans to visit this summer, and more long term, whether I’ll still be able to move to be with them in the coming spring.
Gilded is a portrait of them, gilded in gold for my love and my reverence. They’ve been so incredibly patient and accommodating of my stress, and amid both of us trying to navigate our school and work situations has found time to spend with me nonetheless. Accompanying is a section of lyrics from the song Kids by PUP, a band they introduced me to when we first met and has come to mean a lot to me as something we can share. The song has a bridge that in particular encapsulates all of my feelings on the situation very well, and my hope for coming out the other side of this:
“It’s alright it’s just a flesh wound / You said you’d never saw it coming / I’m pretty happy lying here with you / It’s pretty good to feel something / I don’t care about nothing but you”..